WHAT THE ADVERT REALLY MEANS.
Architects Delight
Built to cut-down plans from a former chemical factory he had designed before the scheme fell through and was deregistered.
Brilliant Concept
A two-story defoliating fir tree standing under a 10m all-glass dome, surrounded by a waterfall and a perfectly formed scale version of the sphinx.
Charming
It's the size of a broom cupboard.
Quaint
It's the size of a broom cupboard with brooms in it.
Completely updated
Stainless steel appliances, polished floorboards, paved court-yard, and not a smidgin of greenery in sight.
Contemporary
Cheaply slapped together in a hurry to take advantage of the first home buyers grant.
Daring design
Still a Warehouse
Garden outlook
You get a fantastic view of the neighbour's garden.
Much potential
No one else has dared develop this, largely because the backyard sits on a disused mine shaft.
Must See to Believe
Unless you saw it, you'd never believe it.
One of a kind
Ugly as sin. Nothing quite like it still standing.
Certified
Actually it's the architect that's been certified.
National Trust-listed
Look closer, and it actually reads National Truss-listed. This was the former Geriatric accomodation unit, and you can still smell the wee.
A Renovator's Delight
A shit heap
Peak of the Sea
Take a chair into the bathroom, place it next to the toilet, get up on it, stand up on your tip toes and, crane your neck to the left, and there - no just there - is a flash of blue.
Sophisticated
Black walls, flat roof, no windows. (see architects delight)
On Compact Section
If you stretch your arms out, you will touch both fences at once.
Unique City Home
Was a former pasta-sauce factory, the walls are concrete, the roof is steel and it smells of pepperoni.
Steeped in History
Mould on the walls and smells
You'll Love it
No, on second thoughts maybe you won't
Built to cut-down plans from a former chemical factory he had designed before the scheme fell through and was deregistered.
Brilliant Concept
A two-story defoliating fir tree standing under a 10m all-glass dome, surrounded by a waterfall and a perfectly formed scale version of the sphinx.
Charming
It's the size of a broom cupboard.
Quaint
It's the size of a broom cupboard with brooms in it.
Completely updated
Stainless steel appliances, polished floorboards, paved court-yard, and not a smidgin of greenery in sight.
Contemporary
Cheaply slapped together in a hurry to take advantage of the first home buyers grant.
Daring design
Still a Warehouse
Garden outlook
You get a fantastic view of the neighbour's garden.
Much potential
No one else has dared develop this, largely because the backyard sits on a disused mine shaft.
Must See to Believe
Unless you saw it, you'd never believe it.
One of a kind
Ugly as sin. Nothing quite like it still standing.
Certified
Actually it's the architect that's been certified.
National Trust-listed
Look closer, and it actually reads National Truss-listed. This was the former Geriatric accomodation unit, and you can still smell the wee.
A Renovator's Delight
A shit heap
Peak of the Sea
Take a chair into the bathroom, place it next to the toilet, get up on it, stand up on your tip toes and, crane your neck to the left, and there - no just there - is a flash of blue.
Sophisticated
Black walls, flat roof, no windows. (see architects delight)
On Compact Section
If you stretch your arms out, you will touch both fences at once.
Unique City Home
Was a former pasta-sauce factory, the walls are concrete, the roof is steel and it smells of pepperoni.
Steeped in History
Mould on the walls and smells
You'll Love it
No, on second thoughts maybe you won't
