Actual maintenance complaints submitted by pilots and the replies from the maintenance crews.
Problem: left inside tyre almost needs replacing.
Solution: Almost replaced left inside main tyre.
Problem: Test flight ok except Auto-land very rough.
Solution: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.
Problem: Something loose in cockpit.
Solution: Something tightened in cockpit.
Problem: Evidence of hydraulic leak on right main landing gear.
Solution: Evidence removed.
Problem: DME volume unbelievably loud.
Solution: Volume set to more believable level.
Problem: Dead bugs on windshield.
Solution: Live bugs on order.
Problem: IFF inoperative.
Solution: IFF is inoperative in OFF mode.
Problem: Friction locks causing throttle levers to stick.
Solution: Thats what they are there for.
Problem: Number three engine missing.
Solution: Engine found on right wing after brief search.
Solution: Almost replaced left inside main tyre.
Problem: Test flight ok except Auto-land very rough.
Solution: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.
Problem: Something loose in cockpit.
Solution: Something tightened in cockpit.
Problem: Evidence of hydraulic leak on right main landing gear.
Solution: Evidence removed.
Problem: DME volume unbelievably loud.
Solution: Volume set to more believable level.
Problem: Dead bugs on windshield.
Solution: Live bugs on order.
Problem: IFF inoperative.
Solution: IFF is inoperative in OFF mode.
Problem: Friction locks causing throttle levers to stick.
Solution: Thats what they are there for.
Problem: Number three engine missing.
Solution: Engine found on right wing after brief search.
Things to Ponder on the Loo.
1. What is the speed of dark?
2. What happens if you are scared half to death twice?
3. If only the good die young, what does that say about old people?
4. If we are not supposed to eat late night snacks, why is there a light in the fridge?
5. How do you write Zero in Roman numerals?
6. If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
7. The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
8. What is another word for Synonym?
9. Who says nothing is impossible? Some people do it every day.
10. Why is abbreviated such a long word?
2. What happens if you are scared half to death twice?
3. If only the good die young, what does that say about old people?
4. If we are not supposed to eat late night snacks, why is there a light in the fridge?
5. How do you write Zero in Roman numerals?
6. If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
7. The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
8. What is another word for Synonym?
9. Who says nothing is impossible? Some people do it every day.
10. Why is abbreviated such a long word?
